I wanted to go to grad school, but I let my husband talk me out of it. I was initially angry until I saw he was right.
· Business Insider
Courtesy of Ashley Archambault
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- I wanted to enroll in a graduate school program, but my husband didn't understand why.
- He told me that since I already work in journalism, I wouldn't need a master's in the field.
- I was annoyed at first, but I came to understand his reasoning.
I was recently enticed by an online graduate degree program for journalism. It was my dream degree track at my dream school — the University of Florida.
Plus, it was offered completely online. That meant I could finish my Master's degree at a reputable university from the comfort of my home.
I researched the course load carefully and made sure both the schedule and tuition were feasible. I was shocked by how affordable the program was: an estimated $18,000 for a graduate degree, to be completed in only 16 months if I enrolled full time.
I still wasn't sure if it was the right path for me, so I talked it out with my husband.
My husband immediately questioned my interest
When he questioned why I wanted to go back to school in the first place, I felt immediately defensive, as in, "Why wouldn't I?"
But instead of assuming he was against the idea altogether, I went against my instinct to rage and questioned him.
He explained that he had never heard about me even wanting to go back to school until now, which was totally fair. I hadn't ever shared that with him.
He asked about the graduate classes, and after we went over the course load together, he said he thought the program might not benefit me enough to justify the cost.
In his defense, he repeatedly said he'd support me if I wanted to enroll. But his opinion was that I already knew how to do most of what I would learn, since I've been working as a freelance writer for years.
He continued to question my motives, which was helpful
My husband said I was already working as a professional journalist, which felt like a high compliment. He suggested working on the skills I expressed wanting to hone independently, such as practicing my interview skills or researching other best practices on my own.
As we continued discussing why I was even considering the program, I admitted that I felt left out of the prestigious university's alumni life. I've realized, as I've gotten older, how much I wish I could have had a more traditional college experience at a well-known school.
But wanting to be able to say I have a master's in journalism from whatever university is a terrible reason to go back to school, and I could see that the more we talked it out.
It wasn't easy to admit that, but my husband took the moment to hype me up. He said the best way for me to learn more about journalism is to keep working in the field.
My husband then reminded me of a different career path
I've been interested in training to become a medical assistant.
The only reason he knew I was thinking about that was because he had gone to an appointment with me where I chatted up the nurse who was assisting the doctor. When he recalled the incident, I saw just how much he pays attention to me — more than I realize — and it made me want to start including him more in my internal world.
I had already done some research after I chatted with the nurse that day and discovered that our local college, Eastern Florida State College, offers a Medical Assistant Specialist certificate program. It's a hybrid program, but since it's in my own backyard, that's doable.
With a full time schedule, I could finish the program in just one school year, and it would cost under $7,300.
The program would take less time to complete, and I could work part time after I graduated as an assistant, while continuing to write. Plus, a certificate program would cost far less than a graduate degree.
The excitement I felt sharing this information about the medical assistant program showed both of us which track I should pursue.
I love the idea of having a Master's degree in my field. But the desire is rooted in proving something, probably to myself most of all. Training in a new field and combining that with my freelance career gives me something new to learn without abandoning my main passion.
I loved coming to this decision with him
What struck me most was that my husband helped me reach a clear decision with absolutely no ill will.
Instead of jumping to defensive conclusions like I wanted to at first, I chose a different route: I heard him out.
In doing so, I found out just how much he considers me, and that I need to start giving him more credit for always being on my side.
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