The Joy of Being Asked to Help
· The Atlantic
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Learning how to drive is a rare instance in a teenager’s life, Liz Krieger argues in a recent article: “This wobbly uncertainty, this return to a kind of innocence, is the rarest condition in a 16-year-old, and it lasts about as long as a learner’s permit does.” The best part of teaching her daughter how to drive, Krieger writes, is being allowed to help.
Even once we move beyond the fierce teenage desire for independence, asking for assistance can feel awkward and vulnerable—espsecially in America’s culture of individualism, Julie Beck noted last year. But deciding to go it alone ends up depriving loved ones of the joy of participating. “Pushing through discomfort to accept the help that was offered” in planning her wedding, Julie wrote, made it “feel less like a product we had purchased and more like something special that we had created with our friends, family, and neighbors.” Today’s newsletter explores what asking for help does for the people helping.
On Asking for Help
The Last Thing Teenagers Will Let You Teach Them
By Liz Krieger
An interesting shift happens when a kid is learning to drive, and you’re both inside a box with your fear, moving 40 miles an hour.
To Make Someone Happy, Ask for Help
By Arthur C. Brooks
Generosity is like the circulation of the blood, healthiest and best when it goes around and around.
A Wedding Reveals How Much Help Is Really Available to You
By Julie Beck
Big life moments offer permission to ask for assistance. You should seize it.
Still Curious?
- Coaching is the new “asking your friends for help”: Lifestyle coaches offer help with vacation planning, decision making, meditation, and more—for a price, Olga Khazan wrote last year.
- The one big thing you can do for your kids: Research shows that you probably have less effect on your kids than you think—with one major exception, Arthur C. Brooks wrote in 2024.
Other Diversions
- Seven books that will make you put down your phone (From 2023)
- What makes tennis one of the greatest games
- Okay, sure, a folding iPhone
PS
I recently asked readers to share a photo of something that sparks their sense of awe in the world. “It was a beautiful clear day when my husband and I were driving south from Seattle on Interstate 5 (he was driving),” Pat B., from Bellingham, Washington, wrote. “I saw Mount Rainier appearing to float serenely above the traffic below. The contrast between the immutable and the transitory was awesome!”
I’ll continue to feature your responses in the coming weeks.
— Isabel