Stop Getting ‘UK Poo’ Wrong: A Guide to Britain’s Newest (and Worst?) Music Genre

· Vice

Poo is easy to identify. Its odor is unmistakable. All of the humans who ever had a hard time distinguishing it from other things have been dumped out of the breeding pool. Like pornography, you know it when you see it.

This is the case with UK poo, a newly defined music genre that was basically posted into existence this weekend. Over on X, you can find an almost endless playlist of endearingly low budget TikTok promos from amateur British musicians, most of whom are “rappers” (though indie duo Good Health Good Wealth and that obnoxiously blatant Oasis rip off band I forget the name of hit most of the right notes, too). These videos all have the same kind of awkward humor to them, where it’s unclear if the artist has simply made the song as a joke. The X user @cashyams came up with the name “UK poo” as a joke of his own after he and his friends found themselves repeatedly reloading viral tracks that were “funny to the point where there’s no way the person that’s making this isn’t aware that this is hilarious.”

It all started a few weeks ago, when he posted some examples including “Lately” by Michelin Lz, “Belfast” by D Rebal, and “Shake Your Bum” by Ak CMG. In recent days, his original post has hit 10 million views and counting, igniting a heated debate over what is and isn’t UK poo. So far, it’s been suggested that British hip-hop collective D-Block Europe should be the “founding fathers” of the genre; that influencer and energy drink entrepreneur KSI is another important “pioneer”; and that mainstream artists such as Central Cee and Rizzle Kicks are exhibiting a certain unmistakable whiff. (In any history of UK poo, it would be remiss not to mention BTEC Grime, who’ve been diligently collating tunes that are at least UK poo-adjacent for years. In fact, plenty will say that UK poo is BTEC Grime—and that BTEC Grime is a far better genre name—though the former feels markedly low effort in comparison.)

From “Glad U Came“ by Liilz Feat. ZieZie (“the Bohemian Rhapsody of UK poo”) to
“Birth of a Winner” by Marleek (“absolute fecal matter”) the genre encompasses a stool chart of artistic output. It feels like one of those ideas that’s immediately recognizable for anyone who’s ever spent time in Britain (either in-person or through the screen of their phone), though things get a bit trickier as soon as you start trying to define it.

So VICE got on the phone with@cashyams, who it turns out is a 22-year-old student based in Nottingham making his own music as part of “UK underground boy band” SG!. 

He helped us get to the bottom of what separates a UK poo track from bog standard bad music.

  1. UK Poo Tracks Are Absurd

However bad you think the production or lyricism is, these songs are undeniably funny. Take the woman rapping in her bedroom about how her best mate sold her out for £20 (as one reply puts it, “20 nugs is actual poverty imagine getting slimed out for a draw”). Raiding U.S. hip-hop for its ruthless jargon of betrayal and vengeance, then pairing it with such a meager anecdote, produces something laughably banal and British. “Maybe I’m biased, but Brits naturally have humor infused in them,” @cashyams said to VICE. “We are a pretty funny nation in general and it shows in everything we do.”

  1. There’s a Charming Naivety to UK Poo…

As @cashyams puts it, there are “genuine shades of musical talent” in a lot of these tracks—but social media means UK poo artists are taking their baby steps in public rather than in the safety of their bedrooms or a rehearsal studio. “Everyone’s heard shit music but there’s something about these songs, it feels kind of harsh to just say they’re shit,” he explains. “Like, you can see the childlike wonder in the artist’s eyes. There’s something silly about it and that’s why we thought poo was more apt than just shit.”

  1. …But a Copycat Careerist Thirst for Cash and Success

“After watching PinkPantheress during Covid and the UK underground scene over the last few years, a lot of people are seeing music as a genuine way to build a career,” says @cashyam. “Not all of them are going about it in the right way, but it’s a reflection of something. It can’t be a coincidence that all of these guys are making these exact kinds of songs with these exact kinds of videos.”

  1. The Sonic Hallmarks

Raps with long, meandering lyrics that don’t ride the beat or rhyme. Out of tune Auto-Tune. Bombastic grime or drill beats that make the mundane lyrics even funnier.  “Not everyone’s going to be Queen or Michael Jackson,” reasons @cashyams. “Some people just enjoy making music for making music. I feel like a lot of these guys probably fall into that category. Can’t even hate on them.”

  1. The Front-Facing TikTok Video

“A lot of the songs, it’s almost like they just made the song so they can make a 30-second TikTok video,” @cashyams argues—and if this sounds like an exaggeration try listening to the whole of “DOE” by Blazn. The medium here is TikTok and the message is: it probably helps if your video is a little bit shit. “The video does have to look like it was recorded on someone’s phone at best. Maybe you got a tripod to stand the phone on, but we don’t want to see anything crazy. You can’t be filming UK poo on a film camera.” Case in point, Tee Dawid filming the “Bussdown” video in some skanky bedroom with a money counter and a balaclava like the Klarna Nicki Minaj.

  1. British Decay Aesthetics

Just like a beige meal or a paparazzi photo of some newly disgraced public figure sitting in the back of a car contemplating the abyss, the song needs to scream “United Kingdom” as soon as you load it up. Whether it’s lyrics featuring peculiar slang that demands to be googled or videos shot on park benches (shout out Mansa) or in corner shops. “If you grew up in Britain you’re going to recognize these things,” @cashyams says. As far as he’s concerned, UK poo is deeper than music, it’s a broader aesthetic that also includes vape stores, Reform UK, the town of Luton, and the footballer Jordan Henderson: “UK poo is a pretty good summary of the country today because there’s a lot of nonsense coming out of the UK and if you don’t laugh you’ll cry.” 

  1. …And the One Thing Everyone Gets Wrong?

“It’s definitely not an entirely negative term.” In fact, @cashyams admires the self-belief of an artist like Savvy, who keeps posting new clips of “Come Slap Me Again”, always happy to be out and about performing the same bars in some public space or other. The same is true of the reaction to the videos. “Twitter is so divided right now, but UK poo has brought people together across the country,” he adds. “Regardless of race, gender, political affiliations, everyone can laugh at these videos.”

OTHER NEWS

  • It was a happy day for the Sad Boys and Drain Gang who were pictured at a wedding this weekend. Bladee and Yung Lean were both there, as well as Gud who was sporting a shiner. Now that’s something (black and) blue.
  • French author Constance Debre’s latest book Protocols is set to be translated into English by the freakishly smart polyglot Max Lawton. The novel looks at the death penalty and talks about various methods of execution. One critic claims it does in 90 pages what Fyodor Dostoyevsky does in 750—you could say he’s been given the guillotine. 
  • What did Shu Lea Cheang say when she finished filming Fresh Kill, her 1994 movie about toxic waste and contaminated sushi? That’s a wrap. OK, you’ll want to get the rotten taste of that joke out of your mouth so make sure to read her new interview with Dirt about the film’s re-release via Criterion.

PREDICTION OF THE WEEK
After being given a “physical body,” Claude starts jacking off uncontrollably (over a porn stash pulled out of your browser history using the dreaded Mythos model)

BRAND NEW SENTENCE
“I got catfished by a fake Green Day when I was 13 and now I’m a music journalist.”

BONUS PREDICTION: THE FUTURE OF UK POO
Drake samples “Lime” by Just Light (because of course he does), singing in a terrible London accent (naturally), while filming the music video where he unfortunately breaks his leg after crashing on the streets of Hackney (again, sadly predictable).

Follow Adam on Instagram @yungtolstoi

The post Stop Getting ‘UK Poo’ Wrong: A Guide to Britain’s Newest (and Worst?) Music Genre appeared first on VICE.

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